the nature of love

the doldrums of daily life has invaded my love life. the last exciting thing i remembered doing with Terence was grocery shopping at Vivo’s Giant. (That was really quite fun, and I proved myself to be the expert of supermart categorization when I successfully found the obscure coconut milk!)

Meeting up during the week sometimes just consists of him sending me back home late at night. Needless to say, honeymoon is over (although there wasn’t much of one to begin with) and I get frustrated with this too easily. I can tell myself to be really matured and adult about things, and be the cool, low- maintenance, fulfilled with my own life & busyness type of girl. BUT I AM NOT! & i think i am entitled to once a week, proper date as an undergrad.

but then again, i feel really silly kicking up a fuss over things that sometimes just can’t be helped. and i feel as if i wasted my tears on something retarded altogether.

so i woke up this morning, determined to be grown up and happy. so i say, rejoice, again i say rejoice! (: and i spent the morning musing about what to do for his birthday at the end of this month.

Book Junkies

Hello friendly friends,

I have just started a blog selling some of my second hand books, come visit Book Junkies @ www.junkyardofbook.blogspot.com to find cheap 2nd hand books! I am aiming to expand the blog to include many other features like allowing others to post their books for sale FOR FREE, book club discussions, and hopefully an online book rental service! =D so even if there aren’t any books that you like on the site right now, stay tuned for updates. And I will be adding more books to the site very soon (:

The site is not all perfect right now, I still need to do up the home pages and make tweaks. For now, it is good enough to browse through some lit texts. Do help me spread the word around!

MUMMY, WHEN I GRADUATE I WANT TO BECOME A FULLTIME BLOGGER/BLOG SHOP OWNER, and I am working at it now. =D

methinks,

to think about it, this was a really pretty dress that looks quite flattering on me. i think it would be lovely to have those simple western style garden weddings. and the bride always looks so youthful and carefree in these settings, rather than awkward and stressed up.

the main point of this post is really that i remember this dress and how pretty it looked on me! hahaha

我们舍弃了， 就不在拿起

Phil 2:17

Yes, and if I am being poured out as a drink offering on the sacrifice and service of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all.

and the Chinese say, 泼出去的水就在也收不回来

I keep musing about, “我们舍弃了， 就不在拿起” recently. I can’t remember who prayed this before but it is stuck in my heart. What I have sacrificed, I must think of it as a drink offering, that can‘t be taken back.

Or rather, like what pst YK said before, not that we really can’t, but because of the calling of God in our lives, it is almost as if we cannot.

a strong calling. i must always keep this word in my heart.

1 Tim 4:12-15

Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity. Till I come, give attention to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine. Do not neglect the gift that is in you, which was given to you by prophecy with the laying on of the hands of the eldership. Meditate on these things: give yourself entirely to them, that your progress may be evident to all.

i think God is reminding me of somethings in the last 2 days of 2009.

greater things to come; i must believe that there must be something more than this.

Giving thanks

i love the CHC culture of having our own ‘thanksgiving’ at the end of the year. At every level, we give thanks together – with CG friends, zone leaders, district leaders and the entire church’s leadership.

I didn’t blog after the thanksgiving svc with the church’s leadership, but i just felt very strongly that we are part of an big family, fighting together for the dreams that God placed in our lives.

Pst Kong & Sun: their sacrifices is really beyond imagination. Many people jeer at the fact that Sun turned a pop-star and do not give her enough credit. say what you want, but she remains the only asian artist that has ever made it on the American Billboard Charts. but most importantly, she has really given her life to build God’s house. honour upon honour still does not compare to her sacrifices and love for God. her life really reminds me that one man or woman CAN make a difference!

For myself, I want to give thanks for:

- God who was always faithful even when I was unfaithful

- SOT was such an experience

- my CG, W345. they are really the best people in the world. I mean which leader can boast of a CG that has full attendance for events. For the last 2 events of 2009, every single member attended it – they supported the event and invited their friends. you guys are really awesome (:

- my connect group leaders who are ALWAYS around. I always con them with things like, “just one more time.. one more week of chionging”, but every single week i keep saying the same things and make them chiong with me again and again. but they are “easily conned” and always chiong one more time with me. THANK YOU SO MUCH! nothing would have been possible if not for you guys!

- great friends! this year I made many new friends and grew closer with old friends. Terence said it right, it is an honour to know a great couple like Rick & Sherie. They have really impacted me with their love for God, zeal for life and most importantly their humility & love for people! Other SOT friends like Jaydee, Phiri Phiri, Liang Liang and the renowned captain lee that shouted at us for announcements every single day all made my day brighter!

And because Terence is so sociable and has so many friends, i now have many friends as well. All his school friends, CG friends are my friends now too (:

And special shout outs to sophieeee, zhang mama, bel in japan who always email, leilaa my angmoh friend. alf & bong for their company in school! kex & rah for good conversations over lunches (: my dear kex, i think the image of us sitting at HV starbucks talking about everything will be stuck in my mind for a while

- So happy to make the decision to do honours year. got to know more people in school, and found the most unproductive spot in school – lit honours room -_-”

- for my family.. how ma borrows my bags, JK who found the dream girl (at last), dad who is so random all the time, and cooks lunch for me whenever i don’t have morning classes

- yesterday, i just felt very very very strongly that, thank God Terence is my best friend! I really thank God that I am with you and you’re my bestest friend who is always around. (: (: and although you are so strange to find it strange to hold my hand to pray together, you’re still my fav prayer partner because you pray everything that is in my heart.

from the bottomest of heart, thank GOD for every good thing this year and i thank God IN every bad circumstance as well because He will never fail us.

my God reigns, His love will never fail me/ my God reigns, He’s ruling over all

in all my life/in every situation I know/My God is greater/My God is over all

above all sickness, above all fear, above every heartache here/ in earth and heaven, my God reigns.

above all power, above all thrones/ the greatest love i’ve ever known/today, forever, my God reigns.

Let a man be a man!

Remember this? why, i think the retarded guy called again. rather, i think the strange person who called today is the same weird fella. I used to think he is a pervert, but now i think he’s a desperate one. i mean why do you go back harrassing a girl you harrassed a year ago? did you run out of people to call after a year or something?!

anyway, this was how the conversation went this time round

P: Hello, are you still at Ahava?

Me: er, no?

P: This is jingxuan right?

Me: yes, you are?

P: Oh, I am one of the customers at Ahava whom you gave your number to, right?

Me: I don’t think so.

P: Oh, okay.

Me: Ya, bye!

then i put down the phone.

I called terence after a while to tell him about the conversation. he knows about the first incident too. in fact, he was very upset the last time because i had a sustained conversation with Mr P. thinking that it was him. so Terence felt very indignant or something. Anyway, this was the conversation I had with T today,

Me: The pervert called again

T: very good what. ask him out la. then i can come along too.

Me: huh? why do you want to do that?

T: to punch him.

And that totally put a smile on my face. i am not afraid of perverts anymore! =D

halycon days disappear

quite suddenly, my days are filled with activities – hostels, and more hostel visits.

events, thanksgivings and more!

but it is good to be busy this christmas!

I am still determined to finish reading The Chronicles of Narnia during the break. But Gossip Girl has been put to a break.

Just got back the results of year 4 sem 1, which are highly normal. but in a few weeks, i will start my final semester in NUS. did 4 years just pass like this?!

and when this final semester end, it will surely be end of my halycon days. not quite looking forward to it but i know that with God, the future holds something greater!

***

From Prince Caspian (the fourth book of The Chronicles of Narnia), where Lucy talks about the talking animals who have gone wild (and dumb)

“Wouldn’t it be dreadful if some day, in our own world, at home, men started going wild inside, like the animals here, and still looked like men, so that you’d never know which were which?”