我们舍弃了， 就不在拿起

Phil 2:17

Yes, and if I am being poured out as a drink offering on the sacrifice and service of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all.

and the Chinese say, 泼出去的水就在也收不回来

I keep musing about, “我们舍弃了， 就不在拿起” recently. I can’t remember who prayed this before but it is stuck in my heart. What I have sacrificed, I must think of it as a drink offering, that can‘t be taken back.

Or rather, like what pst YK said before, not that we really can’t, but because of the calling of God in our lives, it is almost as if we cannot.

a strong calling. i must always keep this word in my heart.

1 Tim 4:12-15

Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity. Till I come, give attention to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine. Do not neglect the gift that is in you, which was given to you by prophecy with the laying on of the hands of the eldership. Meditate on these things: give yourself entirely to them, that your progress may be evident to all.

i think God is reminding me of somethings in the last 2 days of 2009.

greater things to come; i must believe that there must be something more than this.

i love the CHC culture of having our own ‘thanksgiving’ at the end of the year. At every level, we give thanks together – with CG friends, zone leaders, district leaders and the entire church’s leadership.

I didn’t blog after the thanksgiving svc with the church’s leadership, but i just felt very strongly that we are part of an big family, fighting together for the dreams that God placed in our lives.

Pst Kong & Sun: their sacrifices is really beyond imagination. Many people jeer at the fact that Sun turned a pop-star and do not give her enough credit. say what you want, but she remains the only asian artist that has ever made it on the American Billboard Charts. but most importantly, she has really given her life to build God’s house. honour upon honour still does not compare to her sacrifices and love for God. her life really reminds me that one man or woman CAN make a difference!

For myself, I want to give thanks for:

- God who was always faithful even when I was unfaithful

- SOT was such an experience

- my CG, W345. they are really the best people in the world. I mean which leader can boast of a CG that has full attendance for events. For the last 2 events of 2009, every single member attended it – they supported the event and invited their friends. you guys are really awesome (:

- my connect group leaders who are ALWAYS around. I always con them with things like, “just one more time.. one more week of chionging”, but every single week i keep saying the same things and make them chiong with me again and again. but they are “easily conned” and always chiong one more time with me. THANK YOU SO MUCH! nothing would have been possible if not for you guys!

- great friends! this year I made many new friends and grew closer with old friends. Terence said it right, it is an honour to know a great couple like Rick & Sherie. They have really impacted me with their love for God, zeal for life and most importantly their humility & love for people! Other SOT friends like Jaydee, Phiri Phiri, Liang Liang and the renowned captain lee that shouted at us for announcements every single day all made my day brighter!

And because Terence is so sociable and has so many friends, i now have many friends as well. All his school friends, CG friends are my friends now too (:

And special shout outs to sophieeee, zhang mama, bel in japan who always email, leilaa my angmoh friend. alf & bong for their company in school! kex & rah for good conversations over lunches (: my dear kex, i think the image of us sitting at HV starbucks talking about everything will be stuck in my mind for a while

- So happy to make the decision to do honours year. got to know more people in school, and found the most unproductive spot in school – lit honours room -_-”

- for my family.. how ma borrows my bags, JK who found the dream girl (at last), dad who is so random all the time, and cooks lunch for me whenever i don’t have morning classes

- yesterday, i just felt very very very strongly that, thank God Terence is my best friend! I really thank God that I am with you and you’re my bestest friend who is always around. (: (: and although you are so strange to find it strange to hold my hand to pray together, you’re still my fav prayer partner because you pray everything that is in my heart.

from the bottomest of heart, thank GOD for every good thing this year and i thank God IN every bad circumstance as well because He will never fail us.

my God reigns, His love will never fail me/ my God reigns, He’s ruling over all

in all my life/in every situation I know/My God is greater/My God is over all

above all sickness, above all fear, above every heartache here/ in earth and heaven, my God reigns.

above all power, above all thrones/ the greatest love i’ve ever known/today, forever, my God reigns.

Remember this? why, i think the retarded guy called again. rather, i think the strange person who called today is the same weird fella. I used to think he is a pervert, but now i think he’s a desperate one. i mean why do you go back harrassing a girl you harrassed a year ago? did you run out of people to call after a year or something?!

anyway, this was how the conversation went this time round

P: Hello, are you still at Ahava?

Me: er, no?

P: This is jingxuan right?

Me: yes, you are?

P: Oh, I am one of the customers at Ahava whom you gave your number to, right?

Me: I don’t think so.

P: Oh, okay.

Me: Ya, bye!

then i put down the phone.

I called terence after a while to tell him about the conversation. he knows about the first incident too. in fact, he was very upset the last time because i had a sustained conversation with Mr P. thinking that it was him. so Terence felt very indignant or something. Anyway, this was the conversation I had with T today,

Me: The pervert called again

T: very good what. ask him out la. then i can come along too.

Me: huh? why do you want to do that?

T: to punch him.

And that totally put a smile on my face. i am not afraid of perverts anymore! =D

quite suddenly, my days are filled with activities – hostels, and more hostel visits.

events, thanksgivings and more!

but it is good to be busy this christmas!

I am still determined to finish reading The Chronicles of Narnia during the break. But Gossip Girl has been put to a break.

Just got back the results of year 4 sem 1, which are highly normal. but in a few weeks, i will start my final semester in NUS. did 4 years just pass like this?!

and when this final semester end, it will surely be end of my halycon days. not quite looking forward to it but i know that with God, the future holds something greater!

***

From Prince Caspian (the fourth book of The Chronicles of Narnia), where Lucy talks about the talking animals who have gone wild (and dumb)

“Wouldn’t it be dreadful if some day, in our own world, at home, men started going wild inside, like the animals here, and still looked like men, so that you’d never know which were which?”

Presenting my favorite quotes from the third installation of The Chronicles of Narnia:

But one of the worst results of being a slave and being forced to do things is that when there is no one to force you any more you find you have almost lost the power of forcing yourself.

And this quote right at the end of the book is super heartening,

Aravis also had many quarrels (and, I’m afraid, even fights) with Cor, but they always made it up again: so that years later, when they were grown up, they were so used to quarreling and making it up again that they got married so as to go on doing it more conveniently.

note to self: if you can keep on making it up, you can make it (:

kex, I can’t remember properly, but i think you liked this quote before. anyway, this is for you too. xx

Been re-reading C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia. I like Harry Potter enough but i must say that C.S. Lewis has created a kind of magic in his books that is hard to match up to. It is the kind of book that makes you rapidly flip forwards to find out what is happening next, but you quickly go backwards again to read the words carefully again.

From The Magician’s Nephew:

And the longer and more beautifully the lion sang, the harder Uncle Andrew tried to make himself believe that he could hear nothing but roaring. Now the problem about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed. Uncle Andrew did. He soon did hear nothing but roaring in Aslan’s song. Soon he couldn’t have heard anything else even if he wanted to.

C.S. Lewis dedicated The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe to his god-daughter, Lucy Barfield. The dedication message was so sweet!

To Lucy Barfield

My Dear Lucy,

I wrote this story for you, but when I began it I had not realised that girls grow quicker than books. As a result you are already too old for fairy tales, and by the time it is printed and bound you will be older still. But some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. You can then take it down from some upper shelf, dust it, and tell me what you think of it. I shall probably be too deaf to hear, and too old to understand, a word you say, but I shall still be

your affectionate Godfather,

C.S. Lewis

Though I am a literature student, I hardly adore any writer. I greatly admire the talents of many but C.S. Lewis is perhaps the only writer that I worship. I think he has combined talent with great character. And his style of writing is best captured with this quote of his,

“Don’t use words too big for the subject. Don’t say “infinitely” when you mean “very”; otherwise you’ll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite.”

***

On another note, I am totally enjoying my post-exams days so far. Terence bought me two pairs of shoes on Saturday. Sunday was girly day – 6 girls in a nails parlour. Sophie, Yunxi and I continued on to shopping at zara. we all returned with a zara paper bag in hand!

today, was just lunch with sophie, terence and sally! then hunting down for flowers.. visiting angeline and seeing her doll-like princess! and then i accompanied T to RW, he was standing by in one of the overflow rooms to play guitar. in the end, he didn’t have to play and we just hung out in the room. i simply love days like these. simple (:

Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the heart knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

i don’t know what to pray; much less what to say to other people. but God is always here, and He always can hear.

Up (2009) is definitely one of the best films released this year. and my favorite part is when Carl discovers the added pages in Ellie’s scrapbook.

Terence in his (rare) moments of literary genius says this:

when she puts in those pictures of her married life in her book, she means to say that even if they’ve never been to paradise fall, life with him daily is already an adventure.

reminded of all these when i re-watched the film today (:

in the words of jin: My impersonation of zhang yimou with zhang ziyi & gong li

JC prom nights seem like such faraway memories but i came across this picture randomly. it is quite a nice picture and you really can’t get more chinese than this. we’ve got all the right colours – gold & red; the right motifs- flowers and flying dragons, and two nanyang girls infused with chinese culture over four years and a boy infused with wuxia half his life.

nvm about the AC part.

Just about 2 years ago, I was in constant lamentations that I didn’t have enough bags. But in the space of 2 years, I have ’suddenly’ accumulated many bags. So much so that I keep some bags that I seldom use in the cupboard and only have erm 5 (more frequently) used bags hanging on my clothes rack.

it reminds me that sometimes we let very little things get to us – that little tinges of envy and wondering to ourselves why we don’t have enough money to get many bags, go on many exotic overseas trips etc when without us even noticing, God can bless us with much and suddenly, i feel like i’ve got too many bags. So this is my little bag revelation of the day – we never have to pin for more affluence; we don’t have to run after riches, but let riches run after and over-run us

that being said, i am a very typical, mass media portrayed type of girl. why bother to deny and be ‘unique’? i just love my bags and shoes. so these are the bags i would want to own (in the very near future, hopefully)

I think that every girl should buy herself the first branded bag, and then afterwards leave this holy responsibility of buying dream bags to her partner. hee! so don’t worry dear, i will buy the above LV myself, you can buy the rest!